There Once Was a Hottie on JDate

There once was a hottie on JDate. She wanted much more than a playmate. She had it all planned, the napkins, the band; the kitchen she'd do up in slate. And now she needed a male. Just something to fill out her sail. He'd have to be smart, and fun, never fart, and have passion for something besides tail. He'd work hard, he'd play hard, be a general J-tard - a bad boy but ultimately controllable. She'd rail and she'd shrew, just to see what he'd do, and his taming technique proves extolable. After that I don't know, I'm sick of it yo, what happened to splashing and play. If you've got a plan then I'm not your man; go find someone else on the J. Look, let's paint the town and... I'm missing a noun, but the point is we're not getting graded. We'll grow, we'll have fun, and if you're The One then that's peaches but... oh fine, I'm jaded.